(The question almost every Australian couple gets wrong) Adams United Lawyers
Most people think they know the answer.
“If we’ve been together six months, we’re de facto.”
“If we share a bed, we’re de facto.”
“If we don’t mix money, we’re not.”
“If it’s his house, it’s his.”
“If we split bills 50/50, we’re safe.”
None of these are true.
People don’t become de facto because they love each other.
They become de facto because their lives quietly start merging — long before either person realises what that means legally.
And that’s why this question keeps so many people awake at 2am:
“If I move in… do I accidentally become de facto?”
It’s not the time — it’s the behaviour
In Australia, you can be considered de facto even if:
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- you haven’t been together 2 years
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- the house is only in one person’s name
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- you keep your money separate
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- you don’t have kids
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- you don’t call each other “partner”
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- you didn’t intend to merge finances
Why?
Because the law looks at the relationship you lived, not the title you gave it.
And these are the things that matter:
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- Do you live together?
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- Do you mix responsibilities?
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- Do you contribute (even indirectly) to bills, lifestyle, kids, or the home?
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- Do you rely on each other financially?
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- Have you made sacrifices for the relationship?
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- Would breaking up disadvantage one person financially?
You can become de facto without ever signing a thing.
You can become de facto without ever saying the word.
You can become de facto unintentionally.
And that’s what shocks most people.
Why people get blindsided
Most women become de facto accidentally.
Men often assume they’re “not” until someone spells it out.
Nobody sees it happening — until a breakup forces them to see everything differently.
What felt normal in love becomes “contribution” in separation:
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- school pickups
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- cooking
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- cleaning
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- paying more rent
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- covering groceries
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- leaving your job to move in
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- supporting him through a career change
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- helping him through injury or illness
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- putting your things in storage
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- taking on emotional load
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- taking on his kids
In love, these are thoughtful moments.
In separation, they become evidence.
This is why so many people wish they’d talked about this sooner.
So… what actually protects you?
Not separate bank accounts.
Not “his bills / her bills.”
Not keeping receipts.
Not assuming fairness will be obvious.
Not believing “common sense” will win.
The only thing that protects both people — clearly, peacefully, legally — is a Binding Financial Agreement (BFA).
Not out of fear.
Out of clarity.
Not expecting the relationship to fail.
Expecting life to be unpredictable.
Not to protect assets from each other.
To protect the relationship from becoming something neither person recognises in a breakup.
If you ever want help understanding what can happen legally before moving in — or want something that protects both people fairly — I’m always here through Adams United Lawyers
Because becoming de facto shouldn’t be an accident.